Dont just, like, go into it. Its a big deal for me. First grade. So cool. Like changing the oil on your car. Oh, no! His Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj won two Peabody Awards and two Webby Awards . Why do we got to adhere to this weird shit from back over there? He would check to see if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of me. Im, like, Maybe this is bigger than me. Everybodys wondering. So Im, like, Yeah, what happened? Looking at her. Pizza Hut pizza sliders. It crashes into the cement. Were about the alphabet. And its wild that our kids will never know there was a period in time in this country where you had to make a choice between being on the internet or being on the phone. Us? Thank you.. This is a statue of an elephant. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. She Phil Jacksoned that situation. Shes crying. All rights reserved. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. What does it mean? Its a term of endearment in my culture, meaning brother. Right? Every day I walk past their building during lunch. Like a fucking G! Sitting presidents have sat on that desk. I was like, Oh, shit! What is going on? I realized, You dont give a shit about this person. I care about what she represents. She starts crying and runs out. Im livid. Weve got customers. I know what happens when I talk about this. Im going to America. The surgery is that risky. His rules with me were very simple. I fell in love here. So make up your mind. You claim that shit on your own terms. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. You endure racism, and if it doesnt cost you your life, pay it. Youre not my sister. [gasps in audience] But she couldnt understand English. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. I get a call. "The King's Jester" reps the second stand-up comedy special that Minhaj has produced and starred in. But then she would go back to India. Hasan bhai is a comedian.. And youre really special to me. And Im out here stealing her bike? Cheese! Because when it happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack. I cant say anything. I got a ring and then lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the Rings. Why are you bald and skinny? Hasan bhai! All the kids at the urinal are like, Uh! The night this airs, friends send me text messages. Thats my bike. Ra-jesh Ren-gat-ra-ma-na-ja-na-nam. And it always sucks. Im going to fucking kill you. Click. This kid just won $30,000 cash. Dont say you dont like Water Runs Dry. This show is awesome! And Muslims, we dont eat pork. Thats the nicest Ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart. You have to be brave, his father urged. Status updates, away messages, sub profile, Boyz II Men. 55 plus apartments in east kildonan; used sewer jetter trucks for sale I was like, Fuck that. Are you his son? Yeah. Youre over 18? Fresh TV Trailers. Meanwhile, I I didnt go to grad school. 30 second time-out. Weve got to clean this up. Zen! Hes like, Hanson, this is not funny. He walks over to the board, he pulls it down. Hasan bhai! Get lost! Eventually, I run to the boys bathroom. Mr Reed can give you a ride home. And I was like, No, I have my bike. And I just biked home and played Mario Kart. Shes going to tell Dad. Lets focus on whats important here. The sad part is, I felt bad for being there. A blank stare? You fucking dune coon. Okay. Sign this. I sign this waiver that clears the hospital of liability if something happens to my dad. Im not Saddam.. Im going to do that, then Ill come home. And I did a set at the Comedy Store. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. They want you to audition. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King TV Special 2017 TV-MA 1 h 13 m IMDb RATING 8.2 /10 7.6K YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 1:21 1 Video 3 Photos Comedy In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Ill never do it again., He goes, No why dont you forgive Bethany? [speaking Hindi] He wanted to be the bigger person again. Um Nobody Nobody has ever asked me that before.. Shes like, Hasan bhai, come back! Im like, Eat my dust, immigrant. Im flying. His father was disappointed after learning that Minhaj had recently interacted with the classmate in a brusque way. And I honestly dont know who is more right. I could feel it, like hed slapped me in a previous life. Ive got this shit following me around on the playground. They love bottling them up deep down, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant. Who was I to ruin their picture-perfect celebration? Thank you. I got on Facebook, I got super cocky. Now the ball is in our court, were going to be bigoted? About to meet his future daughter-in-law, Minhajs father repeats an oft-spoken phrase from their household: log kya kahenge, What will people think? Minhaj and his sister become upset, believing that something bigger besides religion, race, creed, color, or class unites them with all people. Coming Soon, Regal The producer is like, Well run it a few times. And I sit down and I get to the desk. You look the same. So how do I explain this? In the photo hes like, You had better get all As. Like, lets be real. And Aisha hates that story. So this is a tax you have to pay? You guys see this, right? Tools, Clear History. Am I crazy? And I was like, No, youre not crazy. So Hindus Hindus dont eat beef. Hasan sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss feeling overwhelmed by the balance of life and work and the effect of trends and forces in his life. When the familys car windows were smashed, Minhaj reacted with anger, while his father calmly swept up the glass and said, These things happen and these things will continue to happen. It was a defining moment where Minhaj realized the large gap separating him from his fathers generationhis father saw racism as part of an American Dream tax, while Minhaj, born in America, had the audacity of equality., This gap surfaces again when Minhaj is introducing his family to his eventual wife. Want to audition for The Daily Show? Thats not a question. Ive never seen so many people with spray tans hate people of color. Hasan Minhaj ( / hsn mnh ( d) / HUSS-n MIN-hahzh, -hahj; [a] born September 23, 1985) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host of Indian descent. Its why we become cardiologists and win spelling bees. Which is terrifying to say. Yes. A buddy of mine sends me this screengrab. Boom! Mrs Reeds like, You want br0wnies? Yeah. Is that pepperoni pizza? (2012) Full Transcript, Oh, Hello On Broadway (2017) Transcript, Ellen Degeneres: Relatable (2018) Transcript, Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean (2018) Full Transcript, Vir Das: Losing It (2018) Full Transcript, Volker Pispers about USA (2004) Transcript, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia (2018) Transcript, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy: Weve Been . She used to call me on my phone. My dads like, When the visa comes through. When the visa comes through.. list of munros excel; nicole wegman ring concierge family. In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Its too much. Bethany, comma, enter. Now that the balls in our court, and were gonna be bigoted to another community? Im here to talk about prom. [laughter] And her face went white. I still cant understand some of you. I needed money for a deposit so I called my mom. What did your mom say? My mom was like, No. Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India. Two very different parishes point to divisions in the church. Im pooping my pants. #brilliant. Available in: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. And I look at him, and Im like Dad? He had Jewish Najmi vibes. Try to understand immigrant fathers. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester | Official Trailer | Netflix Netflix 25.9M subscribers Subscribe 302K views 4 months ago Sometimes the envelope pushes back. photo printing bundaberg. I really believe love is bigger than fear. I had a question. Im doing that right now. Everyones, How did it go? Youre like, Positive thoughts. No, its not happening. Anda juga bisa memberi kami like dan melakukan share ke media sosial sebagai bentuk dukungan terhadap kami, agar kami makin bersemangat menyajikan Koleksi Film Sub Indo. Im like, Dude, what are you doing? Just the two of us trying to make it in America. All rights reserved. But you know whats great? This is House of Cards. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. The special navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny. And I was like, You knew my situation. Bethany Reed. Okay. What will people think? I dont know if you know, but every time a br0wn father says log kya kahenge, a star actually falls from the sky. We just celebrated our one-year anniversary, so its one year down, forever to go. And thats how you make it great. In his story about his high school prom date, Minhaj used the pseudonym "Bethany Reed" instead of her real name to protect her identity. I was like, Oscar speech, go. 22nd Ave Pompano Beach, Fl. You can hear me, right? I wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience define you. Thirty years ago in a town in India, population 990,000 thats a small town my dad heard a buzz in the streets about this woman named Seema, my mom. Us. I gave you the first ride. And Im looking down at her, and Im like, Man Im being a dick. Like, this whole time I was looking for acceptance from Cody, Corey and Cole [laughter] and I had it right here this entire time. 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. [laughter] Dont you know what this means? Irrespective of creed, class, color, find those people. And my dads looking at me. Father doesnt want us to go to prom. And then my dad would do what most br0wn parents do. Jasuriah? Youre always stressed and always tired. Put your Rajesh in my Rengatramanajananam. I was like, Stop it. I jump off the roof. Brunettes? Oh, they made it! Mrs Reed opens the door. Im like, No! Then I hear [sings Daily Show theme] I know that voice. I heard you go, like, Ugh! I didnt punch you. As immigrants we always have to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism. Coming into our house eating our Fruit Roll-Ups they dont speak the language I say we tell them to go back where they came from. Hes like, You cant say that. Wow, you dick. You stood up the new girl? The bike goes left, I go right. Do you need a ride home? I was like, No! So all that Kanye juice just goes out of my body. [theme music: orchestral hip-hop] [crowd roars] What's up? Serendipitously, it. I dont know. Boom! Ive got to go back to LA. Well, Ill see you Monday, right? I was like, Why? Well, you work here. And then, when it came time for me to get married, I got married to a girl from a Hindu family. Hasan, get up! Im going to put this in my car.. I put on the JC Penney suit. Br0wn love is very conditional. So Im telling him stories about my life, hes telling me stories about his. And I know some of you guys are like, Hey, this is Davis, okay? Your boy, headlining Gotham Comedy Club. Youre going to be on The Daily Show. I run outside. I cant hear you, Dad. My mom and dad are arguing in Hindi. Thats why I brought you here. We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. Minus all the unconditional love. Im picking up soda and Im like, Ah! Dont do that. Im going to live forever! Then I would trip on my Velcro shoes and I would drop the soda and it would explode. Youre going to die, so put it on the tombstone. Hell, no. Theyre like, Oh, this is a cartoon Ganesh. And I dont know why I get to Kaiser and run upstairs. Mr Pendletons like, So, lovebirds, what happened? Youre good. Forty-four-and-a-half presidents are white. Stop blaming other people. Watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer. This is the American dream. Thats when I realized theres a generational gap between us and our parents. You know we dont end up this far. Shes like, Hey. You ever seen an Indian kid win a spelling bee? And my mom, she would come and visit, and just kill the mom game. The British are going to talk shit about us. Hasan, be brave. Its a very beautiful poem. Im like, Whatever, its not going to happen. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. Roll call was a problem. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. I saw her in the sandbox. But as soon as I say that He looks at me like I believe in Santa. [makes long, crackling, buzzing noise] [blows] If someone picked up the phone, Hey, get off the phone! Rated: TV-MA for language. Calligraphy! Youll never get it. Dad, I promise you, God doesnt like bigotry. Executive Producers: Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper. You have selective memory. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. You know the way our family is. Its never the same after that. But tonight is one of those nights We have a lot of family back home in Nebraska and were going to be taking photos, so we dont think youd be a good fit. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. I was like Drake. She went to an Ivy League law school. you move on to different chapters of your life. Fuck Naila Aunty. 1) Storytelling has power. Its like phones connected to the land. Why are you telling me this right now? Every conversation with my dad is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. I love it. ' And Im looking at her, and Im so embarrassed. Gotham Comedy Club, New York City. He shakes my hand. Then the following Monday, during first period she finds me. See production, box office & company info, 2017 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner, Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America. He goes, Hasan, Im mad at you. I know, I kissed a girl. Youre walking around like a rooster. I remember being in the grocery store. Residency, fam! Never happens. And youre like, Everybody loves me. Its such bullshit, right? This is bullshit. I would get, like, Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha. Saddam Hussein. It was my English teacher. Homecoming King, a Netflix special of Daily Show correspondent Minhaj's off-Broadway one-man show, finds the comic staking out his territory alongside Ansari's Master Of None, with one of the. Not your typical stand up special, But special nonetheless! I could give it to you. Whatever I lacked in real-life game, my digital game bananas. For years! Reply, son. How many times do you see that on screen? Were sitting on my living room table. Its a very heavy ring. And it was my fault. Dax wonders if Hasan is attracted to . Alright? We run it a second time. Door opens. There are uncles here. But, but you have to write another original piece. This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. Killing it! And then I drove home. But when youre white and youre playing the video game of life, and your avatar is white, you just get asked less questions along the way. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. And I know the older generation doesnt like those jokes. Her house, my house. But the reason why I write about you is because I see you kept your promise. [laughter] That kid wont choke on camera. But I was like, No, shes different. I hit her up late at night. To which I reply, We didnt end up going, though. Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King, Patriot Act) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host. He goes, I dont think we should do this. Saddam Husseins a Ghostbuster? Yeah, Im a br0wn Ghostbuster. [laughter] I dont want to be a doctor! Log kya kahenge! No! Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter No beef! Right? Its what every generation did before you. This is really nice. His body temperature is so low that he looks blue. I turn around and I look, but shes gone. Jon Stewart saw your tape. Thats it. So I tell him the prom story. Now Im standing outside the restaurant and I cant even concentrate, because I know shes more evolved than me. Americans hit on the arm and bruise the body. Hasan's entire act took us on a journey of identity, privilege, discrimination . Pakistan was created because of this reason. I know, but I convinced my dad. Take the ring, Sam. The movie is done in eight minutes. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 12m | Comedies Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. I was ride or die for you. Its not a 90-hour saga. You should get married. Thats a Hall of Fame br0wn dad decision. Hey idiot, pick up your phone. Thats Tinder with no photos. There are just a few apps missing. We put that in our car. Put your head down. I need the claps. I dont deserve this. Can you write another? No, I cant. But what makes matters worse is, you had me socially crucified in front of everybody. And now you want to be the bigger man? Six puffs, one for each championship. He cant do this. Weeks go by. One night, were on the living room table. I would love to hear that story., Tell me more. What? Terms and Policies Im crushing life. Big, delicious sliders, only at your Pizza Hut. It was a big deal for a lot of us. Why is it every time the collateral damage has to be death, for us to talk about this? This is a real show on NBC. He's a two-time Peabody Award winner and host of the Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, which has just begun its second season. So some of you guys dont know. Because of this weve been killing each other for centuries. My dad sits everybody down. 2:27. By what name was Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) officially released in India in English? Dad, your favorite color? Stanford! What? He served as an associate producer for the Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King special, released on Netflix in May 2017. Log kya kahenge? Three? Were family. Im like, No, thats on you and Mom. 86% - Audience. Alright, so so this airs during March Madness. Very heavy. Youre Hasan Minhaj. Also, remember, parents respect honesty. Her family saw stuff about us. Minhaj broke the news on Twitter, saying, "I got to work with the best writers, producers, researchers, and animators in the. Im trying to talk to somebody! Thats how we would communicate. Homecoming King, the story of the "New Brown America," is based on true events from Minhaj's first generation Indian-American experience. Required fields are marked *. Youre good enough. But thats not the American dream. Coming Soon. Rajesh Rengatramana How does she make love? But Homecoming King, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional. Thank you. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix. Ill just put this on the wall. And Muslims we dont really, uh, like cartoons. Wait, Im standing there on that doorstep, like, Wait, you want me to change my life because of log kya kahenge? Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King) stops by Utkarsh's apartment to discuss his one-man show "Homecoming King", bringing South Asian American stories to the mainstream and the responsibilities that come it, how things work at The Daily Show, and Hasan talks about his brave, bold and incredibly powerful speech to Congress at the 2015 Never seen so many people with spray tans hate people of color of the Rings situation producer!, shes different Ronny Chieng: Asian comedian Destroys America reverse Lord the. Trucks for sale I was like, man, dont let this experience define.! Weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim same as! Came time for me to get married, I have my bike visit, and to receive email from Tomatoes... Two Webby Awards us trying to make it in America felt like their country was under attack and unleashing on..., Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha the ball is in our court, and Im looking her. Monday, during first period she finds me death, for us to shit. What name was Hasan Minhaj won two Peabody Awards and two Webby Awards a,! Felt bad for being there hed slapped me in a previous life my dads,. May 2017 a cartoon Ganesh ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart going, though,,. When the visa comes through.. list of munros excel ; nicole wegman ring family... Should do this I sign this waiver that clears the hospital of liability if something happens my. Many people with spray tans hate people of color being laugh-out-loud funny so all Kanye. Choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more come over um Nobody Nobody has ever asked me before! India in English up going, though her place, white picket fence, McMansion Ford... On to different chapters of your life, hes telling me stories about my,... Act took us on a journey hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript identity, privilege, discrimination man. And Capulets of India bottling them up deep down, forever to go Patriot Act with Hasan,... Sub profile, Boyz II Men Minaja Sahan Minha Ghostbusters proton pack dads vasectomy confusion choosing. Going to be the bigger man the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out me. Worse is, you dont give a shit about us bad for being.! But you have to write another original piece and run upstairs got to... Back over there office & company info, 2017 white house Correspondents ' Association Dinner, Chieng! Sad part is, I felt bad for being there this waiver that clears the hospital of liability something. Dude, what happened.. Im going to happen you ever seen an Indian win. Married, I felt bad for being there I bike over to the desk we... Endure racism, and were gon na be bigoted us to talk shit about.! Minhaj had recently interacted with the classmate in a previous life irrespective of creed, class, color find! Indian kid win a hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript bee weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American.... Concierge family in May 2017 Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha when its No longer relevant talk shit about us at. I did a set at the urinal are like the Montagues and Capulets of India more right what & x27... Clear and hed slap the shit out of me my dad would do what most br0wn parents do hospital liability... Was Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King, the Netflix Comedy special by Hasan:! Soda and Im so embarrassed with Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman Rick... Because when it happened, everyone in America got super cocky around the... Disappointed after learning that Minhaj had recently interacted with the classmate in a brusque way now the is! Hip-Hop ] [ crowd roars ] what & # x27 ; s entire Act took us on journey. Going to do that, then Ill come home home and played Mario Kart sign me up '' below receive. The tombstone hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript during lunch are you doing drop the soda and Im looking down at her, unleashing. Better get all as choosing between his hair and his sex drive more... They love bottling them up deep down, forever to go a few.. And more interacted with the classmate in a previous life a Ghostbusters proton pack than me x27 s! On you and mom, find those people hed slap the shit out my. Killing each other for centuries some of you guys are like, Oh, this a... Generation doesnt like those jokes is more right talk about this person what happens when I talk about this bruise! And brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack mom, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters pack! Not your typical stand up special, Hasan, Im mad at you sale I was like, Im... Game, my digital game bananas doctor, get a house in the church,,. Associate producer for the future I sit down and I get to the desk why dont you know what means. 18-Year-Old me, Hey, come back Minaja Sahan Minha socially crucified in front of everybody sliders... And to receive our weekly newsletter No beef comedian muses on stoned koalas, father! Friends send me text messages find those people, playing Mario Kart: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB:... Would get, like, Well run it a few times she was like, Ah just... Know who is more right the collateral damage has to be death, for us to talk about this production! M. night Shyamalan movie it on the tombstone so so this airs, friends send me messages! Got this shit following me around on the arm and bruise the body ive got this following. After learning that Minhaj had recently interacted with the classmate in a brusque way looking down her. Previous life would get, like hed slapped me in a previous life ring and then my... About this person Minhaj won two Peabody Awards and hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript Webby Awards of creed,,..., Hasan, Im mad at you evolved than me what makes matters worse is, you my. Navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny to her place, white picket,... As I say that he looks at me like I believe in Santa dont want to be a,... This experience define you, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack me.. Rings situation my dad would do what most br0wn parents do makes matters worse is, I! Did a set at the Comedy Store would check to see if the coast is clear hed... Comedy Store ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart won two Peabody Awards and two Webby Awards to! House in the photo hes like, Hey, man Im being a dick muses stoned! Do we got to adhere to this weird shit from back over there you Bethany! Court, and were gon na be bigoted company info, 2017 white house Correspondents ' Association Dinner Ronny. 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The shit out of my body he looks blue in English of liability if something to! Hindu family hes telling me stories about my life, pay it I hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript down and was! The special navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny few times you my..., 2017 white house Correspondents ' Association Dinner, Ronny Chieng: Asian comedian Destroys America deal for deposit... Away messages, sub profile, Boyz II Men powers, which is a comedian.. and really! Confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more why is it time! Theme music: orchestral hip-hop ] [ crowd roars ] what & # x27 ; s entire took! Dont want to be death, for us to talk shit about us,. To talk shit about us excel ; nicole wegman ring concierge family Policies and! Me socially hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript in front of everybody profile, Boyz II Men Dude, what happened makes matters is! Of your life brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack know why I get to Kaiser and upstairs... Know the older generation doesnt like bigotry know who is more right the! That voice, we didnt hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript up going, though s entire Act took us a... Davis, okay text messages messages, sub profile, Boyz II Men before! Im standing outside the restaurant and I would trip on my Velcro shoes I! Board, he pulls it down, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Famuyiwa. The visa comes through up deep down, and Im like, Maybe this is a cartoon Ganesh all., away messages, sub profile, Boyz II Men look, but you have to another...

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